Lately my Facebook inbox is swarmed with dating
questions that I never thought would ever come up the time I started writing
this blog. Apparently there are men out there, who are at the blink of making
this life time decision but they simply can’t choose the right girl! There are many reasons for not settling down
on one girl but top on the list of all these questions is ‘How can you know she
is a wife material?’
I want to demystify
this wife material conception but before I delve deep into this debate, I would
like to give a disclaimer that; I am neither a relationship counselor, a
professional dating consultant or even a pastor but an independent social
observer, writer and a critical thinker, who is not afraid to call a spade a
spade not a big spoon. Having said this, it has taken me a lot of research to
ultimately create these 10 important qualities that can be a basis of defining
what a wife material kind of a girl should be like.
This is an opinion that should be recommended by
those who find t useful to our Kenyan girls. It is not a masterpiece as parse but
an important social yardstick that can be borrowed from time to time by Kenyan
Bachelors ready to settle down in marriage.
10 Important Qualities that make a Girl Marriageable
# 1 Beauty
It has been said that beauty lies in the eyes of the
beholder, although many men want to argue that they would prefer a woman with
good character to a gorgeous woman, most men do not walk the talk. In fact
attractiveness of a woman is the single most important factor that influences the
decision of a man. We can debate about this for hours but the best way to
settle this debate is to adopt a common stand point on some reasonable limit of
attractiveness that a man should go for. Remember this is an innate choice that
you may not have voluntary control over. So attractiveness of a woman tops the
list of the qualities men use to define a wife material.
#2 Sexual Satisfaction
There is no man in his right mind would like to marry
a woman who does not take care of his sexual needs. In fact the foundation of a
lasting relationship is built in the bedroom contrary to what other pundits would
want us to believe. For some men sexual satisfaction comes first before even attractiveness
of the woman. It’s an important consideration since you will be with this woman
for the rest of your life. Married life can get boring especially sexual life
but with woman who knows how to spruce up sex life; infidelity in married man
can be curbed.
# 3 Cooking Skills
Believe me that the way to a man’s heart is through
the stomach; there is no sane man out there who wants to get married to a woman
who can only cook eggs. Bring up a family requires a woman who can cook right
for her husband and kids. There is absolutely no shortcut for this LADIES! You
simply have to be good in the kitchen lest you are not getting anywhere in
marriage.
# 4 Mothering
Ability
Nothing disturbs young Kenyan man than the sight of a
poor mother who won’t breast feed their kids effectively, who won’t train their
kids right manners, who will always be away from home, who is the village
gossip monger…such a woman does not deserve a good husband. The way a woman
handles kids before she is even married can tell the kind of a woman she will
be when married with kids. Look out for the way she treats her nephews, nieces
even the street children she comes across in town. How tolerant is she? She
screams at kids??? …HELL NO!!!! She is not a wife material!
# 5 Alcohol and Drug Related Problems
It has become a norm in our society for women to
drink till the wee hours and to come home drunk only to meet dad and kids dead
asleep. This is some of the challenges that our society is warming up to but
the choice of wife should be dependent on her relationship with alcohol and
other related drugs. It looks cool to dance the night away with a girl you are
dating or a fiancé but a wife who can’t control her drinking habits is a liability
to you and the society, avoid her like plague. A wife material should be a teetollers
or a woman who knows how to drink responsibility!
# 6 Achievements
and Ambitions
Although this is not a strong point ….it has ended up
on this list as one of the defining factors for a wife material. In fact your
woman should have some little achievements that earn her some social status. I don’t
mean academic achievements only but even the little social achievements like
she is the choir master of your local church. That is a good achievement that
shows she will offer good leadership to your kids. She can
be the treasurer of her ‘chama’ this shows she is a trustworthy person …
# 7 Possess some Social and Life Skills
Meet a woman who is overly gorgeous but there are simple things she can’t do like; run, ride a bike, drive, swim or even make new friends…when I come across such a woman I scream ‘blonde ‘.
If you want to have the most difficult time in your marriage go for this blonde girl. This is the kind of a woman who will scream to wake up your neighbors when an ant finds its way into your kitchen.
Quite embarrassing that she can’t simply pick that DEAD ant, cockroach and toss it into the dustbin. There are many women of this nature in Nairobi. Beware GENTELMEN!
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# 8 Career Women make Worst
Mother
The writing is on the wall, if she values her career
more than she values her family, the priorities are not right and she does not qualify
to be a wife material. A good wife should put her family first before her
career. This is the reason why many men argue that teachers in Kenya make the
best wives. They are indeed the best considering they have ample time with
their family. I would propose you marry one and you will not be lost. Consider
her career before you decide on whether you will settle down with her.
# 9 Religion and
Personal Beliefs
Religion may be an important consideration for those
people who don’t want to bring up kids who are confused and can’t tell which
religion they belong to. It’s important you share religion values or ideologies
for you to have a successful marriage. Although inter-religion marriages are
there and some are successful if not all; it is important you define the way
you will bring up your kids especially when you come from different religions.
It is a concern you simply cannot wish away!
# 10 Her Personality
Her personality is an important consideration especially
how she handles difficult times; whether financial, infidelity or health. A
friend of mine one day said that a wife material is that woman who can stand with
you to rebuke the ‘DEVIL’ who made you CHEAT on her! Quite a rare kind of a
woman to find, you will in your marriage life as a man come across serious temptations
to cheat, whether you give in or not is not the debate but the big question is ‘
Can she forgive you when you cheat ?’
Just as a manufacturer of a given electronic
gives you some precautions ‘Don’t open this …blah blah blah …when plugged in a
power socket! You risk an electric shock! ‘A good wife material girl should
also react positively to your disclaimer ‘When I cheat one day …will you
forgive me? ‘By design men are more inclined to cheat than Women!
You can now make an informed decision on what is Wife
Material and what is Not!
Have a good
weekend.
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