Kenyan Married Men Buying S$x Via Phone Calls

Jim (not real name) moved in to the next house in my apartment about 3 months ago, Jim is a happily married man judging by the many times I have seen him and his wife holding hands, playing all over the space despite having one kid. Every time I see this couple going to buy sukawiki together I am amused just like many other onlookers.  Too much PDA is characteristic of this couple. I once overheard a hateful on looking elderly woman say ‘ Hizi ni nyenge za mwanzo ya ndoa…watazoeana’ at the sight of Jim playfully handling his wife in public.

Who is Jim before I knew Him

 To conjure a good mental picture of who Jim is, he is the kind of a man who opens the car’s door for her before they drive off laughing on top of their lungs. You would be mistaken to think that these two are teenagers but his wife’s bulging tummy suggests a second baby will be coming in a few months from now.  By my estimation Jim is in his mid thirties if not late thirties warming up to welcome his mid life crisis. This is how I knew Jim before our apartment attendant introduced me to him.

Like Many Other Kenyans

Like many other Kenyans where I live we have not implemented nyumba kumi system due to its impracticality for the following reasons:

• 1)      The curse of the middle class- most people living here feel they need their space and are filled with high level of self importance that they will rarely turn as you pass each other on the stair case unless you mistakenly fart!
• 2)      Most guys in my apartment have inflated egos that a simple ‘hi’ or a smile has not been forthcoming for the years I have been around
• 3)      Rarely will we have meetings, no reason for meeting coz the management serves you with a eviction notice anytime a fellow tenants complains of loud music or your disgusting nature …so by average standards people are civilized or are force to behave so.
• 4)      Our bullying agent is a Nyumba Kumi System himself, he literally the Mr knows it all……

Door Bell on a Sunday Morning

One of those persistent Sunday mornings door bell gave me an opportunity to begin understanding who Jim is and what kind of a person he is. I have always believed judging a book by its cover is always right when you think of the opposite results or allow a shadow of contrasting thoughts to rationalize your thoughts. (This world is full of disillusionments; you don’t have to trust everything you see to be True)

One recent Sunday morning I was woken up by a persistent door bell the kind you can’t ignore, its either the person ringing the door is retarded judging by his intervals or he has a motivation of some kind, may be the apartment is on fire, I thought and decided to answer the bell.

Pwana Engineer Saidieko Huyu Rafiki Yangu

The door bell turned out to be somewhat a retarded or motivated caretaker who had a story beginning with the sentence ' Pwana Engineer Saidieko Huyu Rafiki Yangu ‘ I immediately knew this is something to do with matanga or some wedding or harambee, before I could even listen while half sleep walking I heard him mention Jim and computer and so many sycophancy adjectives to possibly make me feel appeased that he had disturbed my sleep and peace.

I just asked him if someone will die if I did not do what he wanted me to do immediately but he could not even see my irony. For the fear of making the conversation long I just nodded and told him I would get back to him within a few hours after waking up.

        Computer Software Problem

It later turned out Jim was having a problem with his computer since it was laden by all kind of viruses and wanted if fixed as soon as possible. Since they speak the same dialect with the caretaker he had given him some ideas that a Whiz kid lives next door and he should humbly request for pro bono service.

I gladly accepted to help when I met Jim in his house, since I could not finish the job there he asked me to just carry the comp away and let him know when am done.

Seems Like Jim Loves MoMos

I fumbled many images of women in the hard drive hidden files with most being MoMos …I concluded his was his taste and it was none of my business, just before I finished another text file with links o certain website and numbers surprised me …………

It was tucked ‘God knows where ….’ And had numbers and names along with emails ….arousing my suspicion I went to the site only to realize it’s an escort service website seems like this Chap is silently enjoying the escort services without the knowledge of his wife.

I concluded Jim is either

• A Maniac
• A Hypocritical Pervert
• A serial Adulterer
• A Potential divorcee
• A married wanker

In his house there is a picture of his colorful wedding and he adorns a ring, 

So help me find Jim’s true identity, what do you think he is ?