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The 10 Important Qualities that Define if SHE is ‘Wife Material ‘!


Lately my Facebook inbox is swarmed with dating questions that I never thought would ever come up the time I started writing this blog. Apparently there are men out there, who are at the blink of making this life time decision but they simply can’t choose the right girl!  There are many reasons for not settling down on one girl but top on the list of all these questions is ‘How can you know she is a wife material?’

 I want to demystify this wife material conception but before I delve deep into this debate, I would like to give a disclaimer that; I am neither a relationship counselor, a professional dating consultant or even a pastor but an independent social observer, writer and a critical thinker, who is not afraid to call a spade a spade not a big spoon. Having said this, it has taken me a lot of research to ultimately create these 10 important qualities that can be a basis of defining what a wife material kind of a girl should be like.

This is an opinion that should be recommended by those who find t useful to our Kenyan girls. It is not a masterpiece as parse but an important social yardstick that can be borrowed from time to time by Kenyan Bachelors ready to settle down in marriage.


10 Important Qualities that make a Girl Marriageable

# 1 Beauty  
It has been said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, although many men want to argue that they would prefer a woman with good character to a gorgeous woman, most men do not walk the talk. In fact attractiveness of a woman is the single most important factor that influences the decision of a man. We can debate about this for hours but the best way to settle this debate is to adopt a common stand point on some reasonable limit of attractiveness that a man should go for. Remember this is an innate choice that you may not have voluntary control over. So attractiveness of a woman tops the list of the qualities men use to define a wife material.

#2 Sexual Satisfaction
There is no man in his right mind would like to marry a woman who does not take care of his sexual needs. In fact the foundation of a lasting relationship is built in the bedroom contrary to what other pundits would want us to believe. For some men sexual satisfaction comes first before even attractiveness of the woman. It’s an important consideration since you will be with this woman for the rest of your life. Married life can get boring especially sexual life but with woman who knows how to spruce up sex life; infidelity in married man can be curbed.

# 3 Cooking Skills

Believe me that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach; there is no sane man out there who wants to get married to a woman who can only cook eggs. Bring up a family requires a woman who can cook right for her husband and kids. There is absolutely no shortcut for this LADIES! You simply have to be good in the kitchen lest you are not getting anywhere in marriage.

# 4 Mothering Ability
Nothing disturbs young Kenyan man than the sight of a poor mother who won’t breast feed their kids effectively, who won’t train their kids right manners, who will always be away from home, who is the village gossip monger…such a woman does not deserve a good husband. The way a woman handles kids before she is even married can tell the kind of a woman she will be when married with kids. Look out for the way she treats her nephews, nieces even the street children she comes across in town. How tolerant is she? She screams at kids??? …HELL NO!!!! She is not a wife material!

# 5 Alcohol and Drug Related Problems

It has become a norm in our society for women to drink till the wee hours and to come home drunk only to meet dad and kids dead asleep. This is some of the challenges that our society is warming up to but the choice of wife should be dependent on her relationship with alcohol and other related drugs. It looks cool to dance the night away with a girl you are dating or a fiancé but a wife who can’t control her drinking habits is a liability to you and the society, avoid her like plague. A wife material should be a teetollers or a woman who knows how to drink responsibility!

# 6 Achievements and Ambitions

Although this is not a strong point ….it has ended up on this list as one of the defining factors for a wife material. In fact your woman should have some little achievements that earn her some social status. I don’t mean academic achievements only but even the little social achievements like she is the choir master of your local church. That is a good achievement that shows she will offer good leadership to your kids.   She can be the treasurer of her ‘chama’ this shows she is a trustworthy person …

# 7 Possess some Social and Life Skills 

 Meet a woman who is overly gorgeous but there are simple things she can’t do like; run, ride a bike, drive, swim or even make new friends…when I come across such a woman I scream ‘blonde ‘. 

If you want to have the most difficult time in your marriage go for this blonde girl. This is the kind of a woman who will scream to wake up your neighbors when an ant finds its way into your kitchen. 

Quite embarrassing that she can’t simply pick that DEAD ant, cockroach and toss it into the dustbin. There are many women of this nature in Nairobi. Beware GENTELMEN!


# 8 Career Women make Worst Mother

The writing is on the wall, if she values her career more than she values her family, the priorities are not right and she does not qualify to be a wife material. A good wife should put her family first before her career. This is the reason why many men argue that teachers in Kenya make the best wives. They are indeed the best considering they have ample time with their family. I would propose you marry one and you will not be lost. Consider her career before you decide on whether you will settle down with her.

# 9 Religion and Personal Beliefs 

Religion may be an important consideration for those people who don’t want to bring up kids who are confused and can’t tell which religion they belong to. It’s important you share religion values or ideologies for you to have a successful marriage. Although inter-religion marriages are there and some are successful if not all; it is important you define the way you will bring up your kids especially when you come from different religions. It is a concern you simply cannot wish away!

# 10 Her Personality

Her personality is an important consideration especially how she handles difficult times; whether financial, infidelity or health. A friend of mine one day said that a wife material is that woman who can stand with you to rebuke the ‘DEVIL’ who made you CHEAT on her! Quite a rare kind of a woman to find, you will in your marriage life as a man come across serious temptations to cheat, whether you give in or not is not the debate but the big question is ‘ Can she forgive you when you cheat ?’  

Just as a manufacturer of a given electronic gives you some precautions ‘Don’t open this …blah blah blah …when plugged in a power socket! You risk an electric shock! ‘A good wife material girl should also react positively to your disclaimer ‘When I cheat one day …will you forgive me? ‘By design men are more inclined to cheat than Women!

You can now make an informed decision on what is Wife Material and what is Not!

 Have a good weekend.

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